


It's Actually a Pretty Shitty Life

by nursehelena



Series: Meanwhile, Off-Screen... [5]
Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: Dethmas Coda, Gen, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-02
Updated: 2015-03-02
Packaged: 2018-03-15 22:29:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3464405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nursehelena/pseuds/nursehelena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Murderface and Knubbler's Special was a disaster, Skwisgaar's pissed off, and yet somehow the Christmas Spirit manages to elbow its way to him. </p><p>(Tumblr prompt for Anon: 'Toki and Skwisgaar comfort each other after their parents' visit traumatizes them.')</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Actually a Pretty Shitty Life

**Author's Note:**

> Don't ask why I'm writing Christmas themed fic in March. *shrugs*

Christmas was supposed to be better for Skwisgaar, now that he no longer lived with his mother. He should have known, as soon as Serveta and the rest of Dethklok's moms showed up at Mordhaus, that she would find somehow to embarrass him. She always did, after all. This time, she totally outdid herself. Not only did Skwisgaar have to see his mom performing some sexual act, that recipient was Doctor Rockso and her audience the world. 

“Hey, theres you are!” 

Skwisgaar thought sitting on the curb outside the television studio would've allowed him some solace. Perhaps he was predictable enough for Toki to locate him, or maybe that tone of relief actually meant something. It _had_ been a while since Skwisgaar fled the scene. He intended to go back eventually, but not until Charles upheld his agreement to get Serveta out of there. Send her back home, kill her off, whatever it took. 

“Ja, hi.” Skwisgaar turned his head away when Toki sat down beside him. He refused to cry about the entire situation, instead allowing his anger to churn to seethe. He noticed sometimes that such extreme emotions still reddened his eyes, and he didn't want to take the chance that Toki might assume wrongly. “What ams you doings out here?” 

“Lookings for you, obviously. We's leavings pretty soon, and Charles just wanteds an idea of where you gots off to. Our moms still aren't gone. I saids I woulds come find you because I knew you woulds be upsets and I don'ts trust any of the other guys to nots make fun of you.” 

“I wasn'ts crying, Toki,” Skwisgaar snapped. “ _Odin_ , why does you have to comes out here and starts treating me like I'm some bigs fucking baby? Dids you not just _see_ de t'ing dat happened? I'ves never been so embarrassed ins my entire life, and dat am saying somet'ing when it comes to my mom. Ons _Christmas_ , too.” Skwisgaar bordered dangerously on revealing more information than he intended, but he didn't care. It felt so damn good to vent. “I thoughts when I left Sweden dat I coulds just forget dat Christmas am an actuals day, and drinks it aways wit' my friends. Holidays am stupids. _Christmas_ am stupids. Why ams you wearings dat dumb outfits anyway? Don'ts you know dat Santa amn'ts real? Haven'ts you realized dat dis amn't a t'ing you cans make happens wit' us?” 

Toki remained quiet in the silence that fell following Skwisgaar's frustrated explosion, which was worse than him reacting similarly and retreating back to the others. That was Skwisgaar's goal, since being alone in this sort of situation was how he found the most comfort. “I never saids you were crying. And apparentlies I was right abouts you maybe beings upset.” 

“How coulds I be anyt'ing else?” Skwisgaar scoffed. “Fuckings typicals Toki.” 

“I guess it _is_ pretties typicals of me to cares about how you're doings, especially after somethings as horrible as what just happeneds to you.” 

There were days when Toki's patience ran about as long as Skwisgaar's, but apparently this was not one of them. Something Toki at some point figured out that Serveta never could was how to communicate with him. Skwisgaar felt like a moody little pissant of a teenager all over again, determined that nothing and nobody would reach him when he behaved like this. Toki maintaining such a calm made Skwisgaar feel stupid, and not in a way that he resented his bandmate for. 

“I just wants tonights to be over,” Skwisgaar followed up with, at lesser volume. “I wants to goes home and forgets dat all dis happened.” 

“Don'ts we all?” Toki mused. “Ares you cold?” 

Skwisgaar shivered, although tried to hide it. Toki wasn't a fool; he still removed his Santa jacket intent to hand over. It was regarded with a raised eyebrow. “I amn'ts wearing dat.” 

“Why nots? Evens if is kinds of lame, is at least warms. What it matters to you, anyway? You looks good in red.” 

“Thanks?” Skwisgaar guessed he'd take the compliment, with how breezily it was delivered. He still felt kind of silly to put this on, even if no one else would see. It smelled faintly of Toki's sweat, which didn't actually bother Skwisgaar. He found it comforting through familiarity. “Uh. . .I apolgesac for de t'ing I saids, abouts you tryings to make us celebrates Christmas. Was actuallies pretty shitties of all us to nots even try.” 

“Whatevers, I'm overs it. I nevers had high hopes, but I thoughts maybe we could try somethings different. I guess, now that I thinks about it, I was the onlies one in the band that nevers got Christmas as a kid. At least nots like it should be.” 

“Pff, I t'inks de only one wit' money dat could really celebrates at all was Nat'an. Moidaface was poor, and Pickle's parents probably didn't have anyt'ing to spends on him once dey was done spoiling Seth. . .” 

“So then why don'ts we celebrate now? We haves the money to buys ourselves whatever we wants.” 

“Because Christmas amn'ts about money, Toki. It ams about family, and dat am somet'ing dat nones of us have. We don'ts appreskate beings reminded.” 

Toki paused to think. “Aren'ts all _we_ family?” 

“Don't starts wit' dat sappy crap.” 

“No, I'm being serious! Don'ts we fit that criteria? We all lives together, we basicallies have joint banks accounts, we all to somes degree cares about each other, right?” 

Skwisgaar shrugged, although he supposed that was true. He and the other guys didn't intend on principle to spend Christmas Day alone. Just because they didn't observe it in any typical fashion didn't mean they wouldn't gather and probably have a big meal. Toki didn't understand the point that Christmas wasn't typically like the movies he'd been watching all month on the Hallmark channel. 

“Just because you refuse to admits it doesn't mean it's not true,” Toki concluded. “You guys are the onlies family Toki's ever known, and he's not afraids to admit that. You're alls the brothers I never gots, as a kid. Evens if my family wasn'ts the way it is, my dad's gone now and my mom still doesn'ts really talk to me. I thoughts when he died that things would change.” 

“Maybes am for de best dat she don't,” Skwisgaar replied. “She haves been hangings around my mom since she gots here, and dere am somet'ing you needs to know about her. She amn't just a slut, she ams a carrier. People get slutties around her.” 

Toki snorted, inspiring a smile out of Skwisgaar. However shitty either of their situations were, at least humour could fix it for the moment. Maybe, by that virtue, however Christmas turned out _wasn't_ much different than those stupid holiday specials on TV. Whether Skwisgaar liked it or not, Christmas made him think about where he'd been this time of the year for all the years he lived prior. Relationships became important because he'd spent far too many Christmases alone as a child. He should be flattered that Toki not only wanted to share that date with him, but that he drew attention to it in order to let them all know they were appreciated. 

Further contributing to the idea that Skwisgaar's life had suddenly turned into a shitty Hallmark movie, a single snowflake fluttered before his face on its way to the ground. He scoffed, rather than mention it. 

“Okays, now _I'ms_ the one getting cold.” Toki rubbed his arms. “You okays to go back? We can hides from our moms, if we haves to.” 

“Ja, shore.” Skwisgaar stood after considering Toki. “Dids you want your jacket back?” 

“Nah, is okay. You keeps it.”


End file.
